hang on, little tomato

Have you ever had one of those moments while watching a movie,where you're starting to get all weepy and you're really feeling for those actors, because they're doing such a darn good job acting, and all of a sudden you're crying and they're crying and everybody's crying even though it's just a movie?

No?

Well let me tell ya it's like the cosmic forces have just adjourned their meeting and they know where you live.

It's not a bad thing. Necessarily.

But when you're watching a movie called "Everybody's fine" and you're thinking "wow this is my life" only it's not really, because you are not an old man who is traveling across the country to track down his kids who don't have time to visit only to learn they are hiding a secret, blah blah blah.

Relative to my own experiences, the movie made sense and it kind of hurt a little.  In a world where "everybody's fine" someday's we just don't feel fine at all.

People can be so mean.

Life is confusing and sometimes sad.

Things don't turn out like we hope or plan.

My latest doctor/patient discussion resulted in me being on a strict gluten free diet.  But I swear my doctor is confused, because "strict" is not in my vocabulary.

So what do you do when habits like eating toast and baking bread are now the devil and along with every other thing you were trying to deal with, you have to relearn how to eat.

It's ridiculous and maddening and needless to say headache-inducing.

And the answer is that I don't know.  I really don't. I'm just doing it and today I'm hating it and tomorrow I hope will be better than today.

And the truth is I haven't written for awhile because things have been really hard. But I've decided that shouldn't stop me from writing.

We are all going through hard battles.  Gluten is the least of my worries..it's just made things a whole lot more complicated.

A friend recently asked me, "April didn't you just go on a Raw diet voluntarily? What's the big deal?"

The simple answer to that is that when it's not something we choose, we tend to not favor it so much.

Sometimes the battle is a consequence of our choices, but does that make it easier to face?

This blog really inspired me to stop thinking so much about myself and start thinking about who I can help.  What an incredible thing it is to see someone standing up to their fears.

Are you "fine"? If not, consider..

If I'm hurting that's awesome, because there are a lot of hurt people in the world and I can relate with them and help them through it.

If I'm lonely, that really sucks, but also it's a good reminder that there are other people that are lonely too and since I know how lame it is I can show them I care and that they aren't alone.

If I need to feel loved,  that's the perfect time to look for ways to help other people be happy. A hug, a plate of cookies (gluten free of course), or maybe just working on those listening skills.

And I think that if I'm seeking ways to love others, God will help me feel better, therefore solving problems 1, 2, & 3.

BOOM.

Hang in there peeps. I'm fighting with you.

And now a word from Pink Martini: