inches

Well it happened.

I went about my biz-nas today and inevidably it came up how I'm doing this whole raw thing and people looked at me like I had lost my mind. Or like my hand just fell off or something.

And then they offered me tamales and cupcakes.

Although it was slightly tempting, what occurred to me was just how tough it is to change.

I think we all want it. I do. I talk about it all the time. Change this, do that..we all do it.

But when we do actually summon the courage to make a change and we give it all we've got, there are still those few people that turn into cheerleaders. But not the good kind of cheerleaders (is there actually a good kind?) The kind that start cheering for all the things you're trying to avoid or stop doing, or change. And they question you like you've just committed a crime or something.

And it's just really so unhelpful to say the least.

Fortunately, I came prepared. I had already considered those types of conversations and really there's just something in me right now that says, "do or die April" and it's pretty remarkable, because I'm not really a do or die sort of person. I'm more like "do and if it doesn't work out then oh what a shame".

But that kind of thinking gets me nowhere. Literally. NOWHERE.

If I don't at least begin trying to change these things about myself now, then in ten years I could very well be the same girl I am now. So then what's the point of life if not for change?

So regardless of what it is that you or I are trying to change I think first and foremost it must be decided that it's the right thing to do.


I mean, is it?

For your future? For your happiness? For the happiness of those around you? For xyz...

Going on a raw/whole foods diet is something I've wanted to do for a long, long time. For me. Because it sounded right to me. It sounded good in a way that you just nod your head thinking, "yeah I should do that". And because it sounds right to me and because it's my life, I'm going to do what feels right for me. It's absolutely going to be hard and at moments I may truly loathe this change I brought upon myself.

BUT can I just say how great it feels to be in a world where everyone wants to change and to know that I'm actually doing it.

It feels so incredibly good.

I'm changing. Inching along. It feels awesome, it really does.

Rediscovering yourself is such a challenge. Partly, because you have to talk yourself into it and mostly, because I think at times we may find ourselves with people who are afraid of change. Or think it's ridiculous or unnecessary.  And they're not afraid to tell you. Oh no, they will make themselves loud and clear how they feel about it. But they're speaking from what they want or need, usually not considering the most important part, which is want YOU want or need.

I confess that the last four days have been really difficult, but I'm honestly happier than I've been in a long time.

I feel:

empowered
happy
free