Thursday, December 1, 2011

Top Five Worst Christmas Gifts

Right now most of us are probably trying to figure out what the heck to get the people we love for Christmas.

I, for one, didn't think I would have that problem this year.

Andrew kindly let me know months ago that the only thing he wanted for Christmas this year was money for a gun. So he can be all manly and stuff.

He didn't want anything else. Nothing for his stocking. Nothing under the tree, but some moolah for a dangerous weapon.


Until two nights ago he changed his mind. With joy and a twinkle in his eye, he told me (exactly 27 days before Christmas) that he no longer wants money for a gun, but that I can buy him real presents this year.

"Surprise me" he says, as though that will make my now frantic shopping enjoyable.

So as you might guess, I've been a little, how do you say, stressed out.

We leave for Paris in less than two weeks so that actually means that Christmas for us is in exactly 13 days.

Fortunately, I've been able to come up with a list of presents to NOT get for that special someone. If you're in a similar situation, maybe this list will come in handy for you too.


 The Top 5 Worst Christmas Gifts:

5.  Obesity!
Although obesity is currently trending at an unusually high rate this time of year, do yourself a favor and forget to follow this fad. For the small price of $13 you could score yourself or that special someone this deal for 5 Big Macs and 5 Fries. As a bonus, this gift also comes with high cholesterol and potentially an opportunity to star on the beloved t.v show "The Biggest Loser".

4. A Perm
I'm well aware that the 80's are back, but giving a gift of a perm for Christmas or frankly any holiday doesn't exactly say love. It's says, "I like you so little that I'm willing to ruin your hair for life." Don't do it. Just don't do it.

3. Hugs
For you Modern Family fans you'll probably remember the episode where Claire gave Phil coupons for "Free Hugs" for their anniversary. Phil's response? "Aren't those free anyway?"..that is correct Phil.  Hugs don't cost money. Therefore a coupon book filled with them is ridiculous. Unless you're a five year old girl giving the gift, because then it is cute.

2. Forever Lazy Loungewear

With the help of this unique and eccentric robe/pj's/evening wear outfit you can be lazy FOREVER! Who doesn't want to be known as the laziest person in all the land? Your friends and family are just dying for you to surprise them with this..not only does it have a convenient "zippered back hatch", but those deep pockets are perfect for potato chips and a remote control. Feeling the desire to splurge? Throw in a dvd of their favorite sitcom so they'll really have no motivation to do anything, but be "Forever Lazy"!

1. Matching outfits for owner and pet
If you're searching for a gift to give your favorite pet lover, please just keep on looking! Although a matching leotard for your loved one and their dog seems like the "perfect gift", trust me on this. Leotard's and dogs don't mix. Ever.

Best of luck on your Christmas gifting!


  1. thanks for visiting! following back!
    your blog and family are adorable!
    this post has me cracking up. my friend just sent me the video for "forever lazy"! hilarious!
    and that perm...woah! frightening combined with his mullet!

    happy december <3

  2. Cute post! Following the FNFW blog hop. I am you newest GFC. Hope you stop by and visit my blog.

  3. Hi April, this is so funny! Happily following you back :) Happy Holidays!

  4. J just laughed reallyyyyyyy loud. love you april.

  5. Nice! Great way to look at things.

  6. HI! Visiting from tt&j. Love your list.. it made me giggle. I defiantly dont want a perm for Christmas.. eeeek! So 80s :) haha!

    I would love for you to share this at my friday link party if you get a chance!