Thursday, November 17, 2011

a twilight mystery

I realize this has the potential to lose a lot of friends and offend probably every woman on the planet.

But that's just a risk I'm willing to take.

Because there are a few things happening these days that I just don't understand.

So please. Help me if you will...

Understand why:

This guy
is the dreamy "Edward Cullen" that women drool over?

and how does

this kid..
make all the girls scream in the movie theater and wear jewelry that says things

like this..

What the heck is going on here?

Wasn't that the movie where that creepy, pale guy was obsessed with that girl who acts like she can't breathe everytime she talks? Were we watching the same thing?

Did you guys even see that movie? Because I did and when Edward did that weird foot thing where he magically kicked that apple up when it fell, I was in disbelief. Mostly, because I thought bad movies were supposed to stay in the early 90's and also because that was the dumbest thing I've ever witnessed.

And does anyone else think that Edward is a creepster to the max?
What's wrong with this picture?

Don't you think that this craze is getting out of hand when memo's like this have to be posted?
 Wow. Termination over Twilight. 

But let's get down to the real issue here.

Twilight Moms.

Really people? Has it come to this? Are we so unhappy in our marriages that we must turn to shimmering vampires and werewolf's with cutoff jeans?

I guess so.

Don't tell your husband you're obsessed with the abs of a teenager and a guy who just can't seem to graduate high school. Okay...


Would the World's Greatest Mom really put a tramp stamp on the back of her newborn baby?
You've seen it for yourselves folks...these moms are kah-razy.

Someone please tell this woman what's really happened to Edward...

Oh what a shame...

Now the only question I have left is how many mom's cried when they read this?

And finally, if this is a conversation that EVER happens between you and another person please seek help immediately.

I rest my case.

What say you peeps? Twilight fans? Yay or Nay?


  1. hahahahahahaha oh my gosh! This stuff is hilarious. I admit I read the books, but as soon as I saw that first movie I was so embarrassed to have read them. I think I am going to wear my Harry Potter shirt today in spite of all those Twilight folks.

  2. I do have to agree with u, ill admit I watched all the movies but Bella really is a horrible actress and I think its sad she made millions off playing this character. And yes Edward is a creepy stalker and for teenagers to think its ok for a boy to watch u sleep all the time, not a very good influence. Not to mention that they're are thousands of teenagers going to see this movie, some probably with their crazy moms and this movie supposedly has a sex scene in it. There are 12 and 13 year olds obsessed with this so guess what they're gunna see tonight? I don't agree and I def don't agree that moms are acting like that. Ilu

  3. Never read the books. Never will and haven't seen the movies, never will.

  4. I read the books (I had a lot of down time when I was nursing Linus) and was sort of excited to watch the first movie, which I did. Not thrilled about it, and then I started watching the second one and said, "Oh yeah...that plot may have seemed normal in a book, but now that I see this acted out in real life I see how ridiculous it is," and shut it off and never turned back. Thank goodness. I've told Craig that there are two circumstances in which is allowed to shoot me, one is if I ever get too fat to fit into the chairs behind the podium in the chapel and the other is if he sees me ever purchasing anything to do with Twilight. YUCK.

  5. i read the books and liked them. i think when they made them into movies it all went downhill. there's no way anyone could live up to the edward in the book. when i was watching the first movie and edward came onto the scene for the first time, i was laughing inside because he looked so ridiculous.. over-the-top hair, comical make-up job and all. at that point, his character pretty much lost all it had going for him- which is sad because, like i said, i actually liked the books and think she did a good job developing the character of edward cullen. and i also got such a kick out of bella. i found her to be so annoying and grossly disappointing. SMILE... it won't hurt your face bella, i promise. i have a friend in my ward who is one of these 'twilight moms', so i don't want to go off on them. i will just say it's baffling, odd, and a yes- a little disturbing. peace out.

  6. All of those pictures are hilarious! And the creepy woman laying on her bed of Edward? WOOF! This has gotten out of hand. I can't believe there are women out there like this that are actually MARRIED and have children but still live as if they were in their teeny bopper days. I don't get it.

    And the movies are creepy. All of the breathing. All of the constipated looks from the vampires (especially Jasper and Edward). In the books the vampires sounded attractive but in the movie they are weird looking and pasty! Who wants that in a man?

  7. You make good points! Those were some awesome pictures! HA HA!

  8. This is the question I'd like to ask...

    Answer honestly, you disgusting old cougars.

  9. ^^That didn't work like I'd hoped. You'll have to copy and paste the address yourselves I suppose

  10. Oh my goodness! Funny and scary all at the same time!

  11. The tramp stamp on a baby? OMG! Horrible! I hope it wasn't a real one.

    But nevertheless, LOVED this post. I laughed out loud all the way though. I did read the books, actually, devoured, is a better word. The movies were OK, but couldn't match up the books. I wasn't expecting miracles though.

    I don't understand the craze though. Yes, the books were good, but do you need to obsess about them?

    Oh, this twilight picture came through facebook a few months back - enjoy!

    (sorry, can't put a img link through a comment :( )

  12. I wrote a post about Twilight, which kind of defends the obsession, while still realizing a tiny problem. I think you might really enjoy the music video at the end.

  13. hahahaha hilarious!! 'Edward Cullens Ashes' jeepers. Yes,the books are good but I don't think that all this junk is necessary. Personally, I think that mother should be throttled just a little bit for that tattoo on the baby.

  14. Ahhh! lol! I completely agree! The Mommy that put the fake "tramp stamp" tattoo on her infant should be shot. I was hopping around blogs and came across this hilarious post. Keep doing what you do girl! From you newest fans at We Got Kidz :)

  15. Loved the first book. Chose to read the next ones because I had started, but didn't care much for them. However, when the first movie came out, that was it for me. Can't STAND the movies!! I think it's bad directing and editing, mixed with some poor acting. Terrible, awful stuff! Blah!

    And why does everyone I know want to go waste $$ on seeing them? Everyone!! Aggghh!

  16. Stopping by from the Blog Hop!
    Funny how I think Edward is so creepy - the way she hovers over Bella. I think Bella is strange too!
    Visit my blog at:

  17. Hahaha too funny and I totally agree! Excited to start following your blog (from the blog hop)

  18. I read the books, they are okay. The movies are a just a joke. I don't understand the obsession at all. I have way more important things to do than obsessive over something aimed at teens :) Thanks for following my blog, following you back :)

  19. I am not a fan of Twilight movies at all, and this post is great! lol.

    Following back from the Giveaway Lifestyle.

  20. Hilarious... and I am so in agreement with you because I just don't get it AT ALL.

  21. OMG this is the friggin best...I must admit that I read the books but that was it. The movies suck none of them know how to act and if I have to see Kristen Stewarts face one more time I am going to SCREAM. Some of the above mommy's need some help and medication. I have been wondering about this Twilight obsession...vampire movies are nothing new and their are allot better then this. Great post. New follower from the hop.....Hope you can do the same.

  22. Twlight is lame! your right, I loved this post.


  23. Haha! I'm SO glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I was beginning to think I was. I totally agree with everything. The whole series is incredibly cheesy! I did read the books, but only because I like the vampire part of the story. The whole "love" story is a bit ridiculous and I got really annoyed with it most of the time.